The end is totally sweet! (oh, and nigh, the end is also nigh)

hi there, we would like to ask a favor of you. Would you, if you would be so kind, please count down to the destruction of the earth with us.

Your initial reaction is not surprising. But before I explain how the end of humanity and actually the entire planet, I'd like to reassure you that there is nothing you can do to stop it. Like some force of nature we must surrender to the inevitability of it.

we are gonna blow shit up. A lot of shit. For a long time. Our calculations are rough but we estimate that with the increased demand in blowing shit up, and the prevalence of people in CheHELLYes capable of fulfilling said up shit blowing demands that the earth will certainly be knocked out of orbit.

Because this is happening at night the earth will be sent into the direction of the sun. From that point it is only a matter of time before the earth becomes engulfed by our star. This is regrettable because we kind of like the planet and just last week the SPF 4.0371 x 10 the 58th power was on sale.

You should know that we did not come to this decision lightly. we had to debate, for considerable moments, the prospect of leaving the earth unharmed.

AND THEN WE REMEMBERED THAT WE ARE MUTHA FUCKIN MERIKINS

and that not blowing up the earth would be a rejection of ourselves.

So you will have to forgive us for being ourselves as we blow a hole in the earth the size of your mom.

The good news is that you are aware! In fact you might want to make a game of it. Ask your neighbors if they know about the end of the planet, then when they say, "No, I was under the impression that the end of life as we know it was not about to change." you can nod and say

"you should try reading a blog sometime" then let it sink in as you slowly walk away smugly contemplating the meaning of our brief existence.

You have 48 hours left.

What does liberty actually get me?

It may be that there is no good reason NOT to travel to CheHellYES!

"Im poor, and cant afford to go" you say

BAH! its true there are lots of ways to spend money, but camping is free, potatoes are cheap, there are carpools leaving PDX Friday and Saturday, and you should consider that being a little sober will help you remember things that the rest of us certainly wont be able to.

"I wanna do crazy fun shit" you say

oh, well you should have some place where you can do crazy shit. Lake side property is pretty sweet.

"but what if I go sex crazy?"

what if? this is radical independence day, and you will get there by being sufficent, so even tho a box of condoms will be served with every bottle of Old Crow we still expect you to do all your bizness conscentually. (picture used without permission)

"but what if cops show up?"

aha, lucky for you CheHellYes! happens to be just beyond the city limits so even a state trooper would need permission to even set foot on the property. The owners are really excited about this.

"but what if my friends laugh at me?"

we are gonna laugh regardless, you might as well look stupid.

dont live in fear of ridicule, embrace it, with us, this weekend, in CHE HELL YES!

Bike tour... TO YOUR DOOM!

in just 2 weeks a team of intrepid human powered explorers will set off to hit up CheHellYes's backdoor! Here are some deets from our Gaybe Amanass Tiller:

168 miles
3 Days (60mi/day)
Wed 6/30 - Fri 7/2
2 brutal climbs, topping out at 3,000' and 4,000'
Epic downhills, some of the best hills I've run on my gbike are on this route!
Low traffic
Gorgeous wilderness, near to no civilization

Anyone can bike 60 miles in a day, you'll have to go on a few training ride to do three 60mi days in a row, but I used to hate biking long distances and now I love it. You can too!

Then when we get there we'll spend the weekend blowing shit up, drinking heavily, sinking boats, swimming, burning things, not sleeping, and whatever else we can get into!

be warned, we plan to drop a fat megaton fun bomb on the lake.

Bring back that drunk ass

Hello, Check Check, is this thing on?

Apparently someone turned on the summertime just in time for us to loose our marbles and scream and dance and forget the world's problems for an extended weekend.

CheHELLYes! Independence is back.

• Same freaky bat time: July 4th weekend
• Same freaky bat place: Mossy Rock, WA
• Same freaky bat folk: the confederated tribes of zoobomb, deadbaby and other Cascadian family

The 4th falls on a Sunday, so we are expecting to blow shit up primarily on that day/night meaning the 5th should be a holiday for those who actually have jobs. plan to help clean up and then go home Monday... or whenever you come out of your coma.

This is not a well organized event. This is more of a, "bring it and see if it floats" kind of an event. But if you want to bring something big that is gonna require coordination with the landowners or something let us know and we can make that happen.


There was a specific request for:

• more diverse media / performances.
• a PA for bands and such (specifically anyone know anyone from Full Face Riot cause Cooper heard they were good)
• hot chicks on stilts with fire. Anyone stepping up to fill that role plse let me know. shawn also mentioned showing bike porn which I said "NAY! the jerks get that too much as it is." BUT if you want to set up a screen I can bring my projector. Personally id love to see an internet movie night. There are lots of great movies out there and even the #1 zoobloger /boat sinker misses lots of them, and some are really fucking good. The issue is you would have to download them to a lappy caues theres no internets out there.

Our goals include:

• making a safe place for the DJ to spin and not have a broken laptop
  
• setting up a better earthen toilet
  
  • limiting dogs/pets/friends who need to be babysat. last year they were an issue for the campers next door.
    
  • a more krunk work party beforehand with sharp edges and slashing of vegetation
    
    • building a dock or even a land bridge to the island
      
    • a massive chunk of the earth smolder cause we are fucking amerikans! blowing shit up IS. WHAT. WE. DO.
      
      • a freak bike ride to a children's bike race in town on Sunday the 4th. We may be blowing that up with mini / freak bikes. our contacts on the inside are working the angles so that we can maximize our impact and minimize the long term traumatizing effects
        
    
    
    
    We will prob have the kitchen and bathroom with working electricity and water, but they wont have any pots or pans or glasses so bring what you need..
    
    its a celebration of freedom, and there is no better way of being free than being able to own your own shit.
    
    
    
    RADICAL INDEPENDENCE DAY IS COMING!

look busy